


When We Can Love Again

by bbassae



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Crossposted on AFF, Friendship, Growing Old Together, How many tags should I add?, Love, M/M, Mentioned foot fetish, Mentions of sex but nothing descriptive because I'm not ready for that, One Shot, Romance, Slice of Life, This is my first fic and im really proud of it, Unimportant OC, slight homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 18:57:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9839501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbassae/pseuds/bbassae
Summary: Life seems too long and too short all at once, and then it's gone in an instant.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first completed, posted story on anything. Although I am worried that I will be the only viewer, I'm extremely proud of what I put together. This is crossposted to AFF with the same title. I hope you enjoy.

Chanyeol was the bright light in his group of friends. Against all odds, they stuck together throughout high school, college, and their separate careers.

At first, it was Chanyeol and his gaming mate, Baekhyun in high school. Their senior year, a Chinese transferee, Yixing, originally known through his gaming id unifluffer, joined their gaming group. They played Warriors of Gremor, a fantasy fighting game, most of their free time.

“Do you mind if I add one of my friends from China?” Yixing had asked. “I introduced him to the game, and he’s pretty good if you ask me.”

Baekhyun and Chanyeol agreed without a hitch, and that was how they came to know a sassy boy by the name of Tao.

The four were inseparable the rest of the senior year and even more so when Tao transferred to Korea to study martial arts and work on his Korean language skills. Yixing went to an art school along with Chanyeol and Baekhyun. Thankfully, the campus was small enough for them to run into each other every now and then, but there were still thousands of other students. New people. New friends?

Yixing made a new friend, Jongin, through dance class. Apparently, he was a natural at dancing and making friends. Everybody in their growing group liked him, Tao taking a liking to him the most.

“Are they going to date? That’d be cute.” Chanyeol asked Baekhyun, gesturing at Tao squished against Jongin in the armchair.

“Not everybody is as gay as you are, Yeolie.” Baekhyun replied. Instead of pointing out that he was gay, too, he just relaxed in the couch, maybe a bit closer to Baekhyun than he was originally.

Through a bit of manipulation from Chanyeol, Tao and Jongin began dating. It took a bit of time to be certain that Jongin liked Tao—it was blaringly obvious that Tao wanted the other to notice him—but once it was confirmed, he went full blast on matchmaker-mode.

Eavesdropping behind a booth with the others during their first non-Chanyeol-planned date was singlehandedly the stupidest and best thing he did his entire college career. Not only did he find out that Tao had a weird thing for feet, but that, during their “private” discussion, Baekhyun may or may not have harbored feelings for him.

Baekhyun denied it with red cheeks, but Chanyeol still pressed on, and in their 2nd year of college, they began dating.

By the time they started going out, Jongin and Tao had long since left the “cupcake phase” of their relationship. Everything seemed well between them until one-day Jongin didn’t show to one of the group’s scheduled hang outs at the apartment shared between Chanyeol and Baekhyun and Tao spent the whole time ranting about their break up.

Jongin had explained that it wasn’t the same as it was in the beginning and that he needed to focus on dance more.

It was difficult to accept that as his excuse when he came up with another boyfriend a month later. Kyungsoo, the boy he was smitten with, was shy at first but once you got to know him, he was anything but. He joined the friend group as soon as Tao finally accepted that Jongin moved on first.

Through Kyungsoo, they met the Kim brothers, Joonmyeon and Minseok. Kyungsoo studied the culinary arts and was in his last year whereas Joonmyeon was a police officer, already graduated, and Minseok worked at Minnie Mart. They were both older, but just as fun to hang out with. Joonmyeon had a huge collection of anime figurines and manga. “I started collecting when I was 9 and I’ve invested too much to quit.” Joonmyeon would explain, but everybody knew it was because he still liked to read them.

The third year of college passed and then the fourth. As graduates, Baekhyun and Chanyeol looked for a job that they would enjoy doing together. After hours contemplating their options over a bit of beer and chicken (because the best decisions are made when they are present), they decided on working for Josei, the small gaming company that produced WoG.

Through the specifics, Chanyeol had worked on composing music for games and Baekhyun worked on graphics and a few side jobs of voicing characters. Later revealed, to no surprise to anyone except Baekhyun, the voices were for younger, less pubescent characters. Like Sly, an 11-year-old sprite in one of the games they were working on.

Everybody had gotten situated well after college. Tao was a gym instructor, Yixing snagged a job as a backup dancer, Jongin followed him two rejected applications elsewhere later, Kyungsoo, having graduated before, was working as a sous chef, and those already out were furthering their careers. Minseok did make it out of Minnie mart, though, favoring the works of a bartender much more.

Life continued for them all. There were rough patches, like when Yixing and Tao decided to move back to China for a while—get back in touch with their roots, you know—and those of prosperity, like when Joonmyeon announced his engagement.

Although he was a part of the group, nobody but Kyungsoo and Minseok saw the engagement coming. Nobody else even knew that he was dating.

He introduced his fiancé, Kris, to the rest, sin Yixing and Tao, during a fancy dinner party at his upscale apartment in the city. The date was set for the next year, and the couple gave everybody in the room the urge to settle down.

Chanyeol gazed around the room and saw how close everybody seemed. Kyungsoo clutched Jongin’s hand, talking about the possibility of marriage and adoption in their own future. Minseok held somebody close, later identified as Luhan. Beside himself, Baekhyun rested his weight on his much larger body. Content with it all, he savored every moment of that night, especially after he went home with Baekhyun and they got more intimate behind closed doors.

Tao came back before the wedding and Yixing soon after. Neither were alone, though. Both had found partners while in China, and they both happened to be Korean, just visiting China for one reason or another.

Tao took notes at Joonmyeon and Kris’ wedding, expecting his own to be bigger and better, but his boyfriend, Sehun, didn’t seem that far into it. He was introduced to the rest of the group after the initial ceremony, rekindling with an old friend he had never expected to see again: Luhan.

The group seemed to have multiplied two-fold the instant Yixing stepped foot back in the country. He had brought his partner, Jongdae, and a kid.

“I would be lying if I said I didn’t have my promiscuous days,” Jongdae explained, “but I wouldn’t change it for the world. My daughter means everything to me.” Through a turn of events, an old fling of his left him with a baby girl, papers, and a note hoping he could take better care of her than she did.

The baby girl, Lune, was the most precious little thing. Watching her grow up, the days, months, years, flew by quickly. It seemed that everybody forgot that they were victims of time as well, but it was too late when they noticed. Luna was in high school, and the majority of the group were passing their prime.

They still met up, few and far between, and not everybody went to every one, but they all kept in touch somehow. Yixing and Jongdae were the only ones to have kids, but a few other couples married. Chanyeol and Baekhyun tied the knot soon after Kyungsoo and Jongin did. Tao, much to his distaste couldn’t legally marry Sehun because Sehun’s parents would disown him if he legally married another man, and a Chinese one at that. Even after the elders passed, to respect their last wishes of him, no matter how ludicrous, they remained in a partnership no farther than boyfriends.

As they climbed up in age, there were a few health scares, but they made it through with a few scars and stories to tell. Chanyeol and Baekhyun had long since moved out of the cramped apartment of their college days and into a cramped rented home surrounded by tens of others just like it, but it was where they grew old together.

On days where getting off the porch was too much for their frail bones, a swing waited in the corner. Many summer nights in their past were spent there, the couple cuddled up, legs tangled, and hearts happy.

“Would you live life again the same or differently?” Chanyeol asked Baekhyun, who was rested in his lap on the porch swing. It was a question that weighed on his heart lately. Their skin was no longer plump and resilient, instead, hanging a bit from their faces and limbs. Their hearts filled with experiences and love. Their eyes filled with the world that they’d seen and the people they’d met.

They fell asleep in the warm night sharing kisses and snuggles that nobody could have guessed would be the last.

Chanyeol was the bright light in his group of friends, but over time, the energy faded to where he could hardly see his own path. Stumbling through life, he found his love, his happiness, and his legacy. A light shining bright dimmed after a life lived right.

Baekhyun woke to a still, slumbering Chanyeol, peacefully carrying his weight. His face, serene in sleep. Humming in content, Baekhyun pressed closer, intending to draw the moment out more, but it was no longer warm. He looked up, rescanning the face of his husband. Unlike his usual nature of odd twitches here and there, his face was stagnant.

With a heartbreaking realization, Baekhyun sat up and tried to assess the situation. He looked at Chanyeol then at his hands then back at Chanyeol. His hands sluggishly made way to Chanyeol's, grasping them, the place around them suddenly seemed dark. He squeezed them, but there was no pressure back. He brought them to his lips before pressing a shaky kiss to them and resting them on his lap.

He took a few minutes to spend with Chanyeol, reflecting on their life together before calling for assistance.

The ceremony was something. Beautiful wasn’t the right word. The connotation was too joyful, but it was the best Baekhyun could use as he stepped up to the podium and thanked those who came. Their whole crew, with the exception of Tao who flew back to China to watch over his mother for a bit, came.

Baekhyun gazed over those sitting in the pews in front of him. They chose the same church that he married Chanyeol in for the service, and it messed with his heart badly. He took a deep breath before turning back to face his husband, laying in the casket dressed his best. His hair was shaggy, as per request, curls delicately resting on his forehead.

Baekhyun took another shaky breath before facing forward. He swallowed hard and opened his mouth, but it was so dry that only a choked squeak resulted. Baekhyun whipped his wet eyes under his glasses and rewet his mouth.

“I’d like to thank you all again for coming as we say our last goodbyes to Yeolie.” Baekhyun choked up a bit more when saying his pet name, almost proving too much. “He was like my sunshine throughout everything. In high school, he led the way to graduation, in college, it was to him and a respectful major.” He paused a bit, letting the audience release their forced chuckles. “After that, it was to this very church, on our wedding day.”

He had to stop for another moment to look back at his husband, eyes clouded over with grief. “What else am I supposed to say?” Baekhyun searched himself, but he found nothing to answer him.

He stepped off the podium and walked towards Chanyeol. With him so close, everybody seemed to disappear. The seconds dragged on though it felt as if he was full of life just moments ago, eyes full and sparkling instead of the dull ones that were hiding behind his closed lids.

“What happened to you?” The doctor said it was “his time”, his heart had given out some time in the night, but why was it Baekhyun’s that felt like it stopped? “We were fine. I thought. I thought you were fine.” Another pause, but not as empty as the others. The pause was filled with words left unsaid from one man to the other. “I didn’t even know your heart was...” Baekhyun couldn’t even think of the right word. His mind was spiraling out of control, but he needed to say goodbye. Tie things up.

“Yeolie,” He thought about the years to come, “I don’t want to be alone, but I’ll hold on for you,” Baekhyun whispered, his hand had found purchase one the side of Chanyeol's face. It was abnormally cool beneath his fingertips, and the sensation sent a shiver wracking through his body, forcing a new wave of choked tears his way. “If we were to love again, I’d love you better. More. Sooner. Anything. When we love again.” Baekhyun finished. He wanted to say more. There were so many things he had yet to say, but he couldn’t see or breathe anymore.

Jongdae brought him to a corner pew to calm his breathing and comfort him, drying his tears alongside a sniffling Lune as Chanyeol's casket was closed. The soft sound it made as it officially separated the two souls in the room would echo in Baekhyun’s ears at any and every moment of silence for the rest of his days.

When Chanyeol died, so did Baekhyun. His heart was the giant’s years before, and when Chanyeol left, it was still his. Empty, Baekhyun carried on, looking forward to the day when they can love again.


End file.
